When Thornfire Rules the Clans
by Oceantale and Thornfire
Summary: Thornfire looks down upon the clans, despairing at how infinitely boring they are. But one day, Thornfire decides to make a change...
1. In the beginning, Thornfire was awesome

**A/N: This is Thornfire, and this is my first comedy fanfic, so don't be surprised if it's not that great or the jokes aren't that funny. Be sure to review and tell me what you think, though!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rush or any of its songs.**

Thornfire sat awesomely on his skull-and-crossbones covered pillow in the clouds and looked down at the clans.

In ThunderClan, a group of cats where sitting around the fresh kill pile, discussing the patrols for that day. How boring. Always patrol this, patrol that. Hunt this, kill that. Fight ShadowClan, Defend WindClan. If only there was a way to make the clans more thought and thought but he couldn't think of an answer. So he turned on his radio. Music began playing.

"WE, WERE MARCHING TOOOO BASTILLE DAY, THE GUILLOTINE TO CLAIM HER BLOODY PRIIIIIZE!"

Thornfire shut the radio off, suddenly inspired. "Rush always helps me think!" he cried. "I will use my mind control powers! MMMMUHHAHAHAHAHA!" he cackled.

"Now things will be more interesting!" he screeched as he jumped out of the clouds and began to fly towards the ThunderClan camp. "THORNFIRE SHALL RULE THE CLANS!"


	2. Awesome Like That

Meanwhile, Bramblestar paced back and forth. "Squirrelflight, I want you to go out to the border and find the patrol. They should—"

But his sentence was interrupted by a streak of light shooting toward the forest. "What the—"

His profanity was muffled as an explosion rocked the forest. "WHAT NOW?" screamed Squirrelflight over the rumble of the ground.

"NOW YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY FIND THE PATROL!" Bramblestar yelled.

But just then, the dust settled and the shaking stopped. Squirrelflight cautiously made her way out of the hollow, but suddenly a glowing brown tabby tom stepped out, along with the patrol. "Spiderleg! Thornclaw! Poppydawn!" .

"Hello Squirrelflight," they responded monotonously. Their eyes had glazed over and they all had the same crazy grin. "This is Thornfire. He will be the professor today," Thornclaw commented.

"Wha—" Bramblestar began to respond, but suddenly everyone in the camp became the same as Spiderleg, Poppydawn, and Thornclaw."

"HELLO, CLASS!" shouted Thornfire.

"Hello, Thornfire," ThunderClan replied.

"Today you will learn about something very important and very interesting. I will be teaching you how to be 'awesome like that.'"

"Awesome like that?" asked Cloudtail.

"Yes," said Thornfire. "It's . . . sort of hard to explain . . . I suppose it would take too long . . . well, I'll just make you all 'awesome like that' with my powers." And so with an evil grin he blasted all the clans with a glowing purple ray. They all commenced to become insane.

"I am a steg-o-saurus!" yelled Bramblestar doing the hula. "Okay kits," the queens said. "Do whatever you want." All the kits danced around and then made a pyramid of cats, then jumped into the sky and grew wings and flew.

Thornfire cocked his eyebrow. "Maybe not THAT awesome . . ."

He blasted them with another ray that made them insane, but less so.

Bramblestar grinned. "I like waffles."

Thornfire smiled. "Perfect. Now the last thing I'm going to do today is change your clan names. He summoned all the other clans.

He flicked his tail toward ShadowClan. "Blackstar, your clan will be known PoopClan. Rowanclaw growled.

He flicked his tail toward RiverClan. "Mistystar, your clan will be known as WaterClan.

He flicked his tail toward ThunderClan. "Bramblestar, your clan will be known as GoodyTwoShoesClan. Or GoodyClan for short."

He flicked his tail toward WindClan. "Now, Onestar . . . without a doubt, WindClan is the _best _of all the forest clans. So today I bestow upon you two gifts. The name of AwesomeClan, and I have turned Geddy Lee into a cat and brought him here."

Suddenly with a poof a white cat with black spots on his ears and face appeared. "WHERE AM I?" he shouted.

"You are in AwesomeClan, and by the powers of myself, I give you your warrior name. Geddy Lee from this day forward you shall be known as Awesomestar. By the way, Onestar, you are no longer leader, and you are allowed to cry to your mommy," Thornfire responded. Then Awesomestar suddenly got blasted with all the information of being a warrior cat, and Thornfire was happy, because Awesomestar was already "awesome like that."

"Awesomestar, instruct your people on the ways of being awesome. I know I can trust you."

"Yes, Thornfire," responded Awesomestar.

"I must go," said Thornfire. He saluted, squared his shoulders, puffed out his chest—

"Too-da-loo!" he said, and he flew off into the evening sky.


End file.
